Dear Media,
As of late, you have been falsely reporting that I, Barbie, have been suing innocent babies for copyright infringement. I have been suing innocent babies, yes; this accusation is true. Nevertheless and nothwithstanding, my reasons are moral and my cause is just. When these innocent babies are born, they resemble me in some way, form or feature. This is a complete, utter and blatant violation of the Interuniversal Barbie Copyright Law, circa year 0. Why innocent children choose to scoff at the uncorrupted law is beyond my infinite intelligence. It is indisputable, common knowledge that all innocent babies, given any measure of Barbietitstics, can and will be sued by Barbie. This is a clear breach of the Barbieological agreement. All parents need to know that if they want their innocent child to be in my image, they must pay top cash dollar legal tender currencies for my well defined assets, attributes and endowments. Thank you for your adept understanding, you wildly ethical media, you. I know that you will now give me a positive report. If you do not, I will call your boss and my mom, Oprah, and we will shut you down. Well bye bye now, my faithful husband Ken needs me to be amply passionate with him as we are wont to do.
Love and Sweet Candy Kisses,
Oprah is my mommy too! Now let us force all nation and tongue to drink of the wine of the wrath of our fornications.
ReplyDelete