Barbie plays chess?

I, Barbie, cannot comprehend, even with my infinite knowledge, how someone could become addicted to chess. There are no accessories. I found out that the queen doesn't even get to wear sparkely jewels in her crown, let alone high heels.

I have found that my time is much more beneficial spending hours online shopping. How else would I have found a hot pink, leather, bullet-proof body suit? These hours have been well spent.